How did you decide?

How is it that people decide to have their second child? No no no don`t get excited... no more babies here (and no plans for more babies either).

I`m just wondering because I never feel like I have my s**t well enough together to even consider bringing another noisy, tantrum throwing (but lovely of course) life into this world!

I even googled that very question in the hopes of finding answers, but all I was met with are confused mothers who feel the same way that I do. Most of whom thought that motherhood would be much different (and in many cases much easier) than it is.

I was looking back at early photos of Aiden this afternoon. 

Amazing cuteness like this...

and this...

and this...

and this...

and this...

oh you want more? ok, here`s just one more...

Of course I miss those cute chubby newborn days. But knowing what happens after that... I am completely and utterly nowhere near even considering having another baby!

If you have more than one child; what happened to make you think that you could do it???


  1. You are talking to me on this one. I hear you and am hoping some mums answer on this post...

  2. Insanity...?
    And just not wanting my kid to not have the great experience of siblings... And I was just... Ready!

  3. I always wanted two, possibly three. I can't imagine raising an only child. I got pregnant with Marina when Shou was still 6 months so I hadn't hit the insane toddler stage. and by then it was too late :) Ryu was, quite simply, a mistake and even then I was pregnant with him just before Shou hit the really hard toddler stage - so again, oops :) However, subsequent babies will never be as hard as that first. They are so much easier and, for me anyway, eventhough I enjoyed having just one for 15 months before Marina came along, I feel like I am enjoying Ryu's milestones a lot more. I love that the three of them are old enough now to all play together.

    All this said though, I could NEVER have managed without paid childcare. I could not have survived with three pre schoolers at home every day for the last 3 and half years - or even two at home. Gaahhh. Each child started kinder just before I had the next - so I could enjoy each baby like I could with Shou. And trust me. You enjoy them more when you know what the f*** you are doing. Good luck in deciding :)

  4. Before having one I knew I wanted more than one, so.... even though my first was pretty challenging, after he was weaned and sleeping better, it was time to try for another one. He was just about to turn three when his sister was born, and these were his exact words, I'm not joking (and apologise in advance for schmulziness overload: "T'ank 'ou Mummy, me lo-o-o-ove babies. So fweet.." (sic) Not sure why he was talking like Cookie Monster, or why he struggled with "sw".
    Being a fairly unusual kid round here, I'm glad he has a sister who can share the experience.

  5. We have not given birth to our first child yet but we have already decided we want 2 to 3 children (if we have one boy 1 girl we will stop there but if we have 2 of the same we will shoot for one more then close up shop). In my humble and honest opinion, motherhood is not for everyone. I have plenty of friends who are proud "child free" couples and I think that is perfectly fabulous. Then there are the couples who just want 1 and that is ok too. There is nothing wrong with that. Some people have a different life style and world views so their family style should match that. Me and my hubby are big into family (he is a Japanese country boy not a city boy) and family is a subject of mutual importance to us. The difficulties of parenthood are part of the deal but they don't last forever. Also I think in a way my husband feels a responsibility to add to the declining Japanese population. It is a common topic in our city so I think there is a bit of peer pressure in there as well. But honestly for me I just want to have a big happy family. It is a huge commitment but one worth making.

  6. Thanks to all who commented. I found a comment on a forum somewhere online that said; if you found out today that you were pregnant (unplanned), how would you feel?
    The answer to that question probably tells you how you feel about having a second child at the moment.

    I tried asking myself that question and almost had a panic attack!! I am NOT ready yet!


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