Sleeping with the enemy

So I had been trying to work towards night-weaning Aiden... slowly increasing the time between night feeds. We had gotten to around 4-5 hours between feeds (he was still waking up every 2-3 hours but would go back to sleep after a drink of tea and a bit of back-patting and shh-ing). But in the last 3 days something has changed and he screams every time he wakes up... screams until I give him what he wants... more boob.

I have to come to think that nothing I do will change the path that Aiden us clearly driving us along. Sleep training was a disaster so he now sleeps with us, he isn't ready to sleep on his own and seems to sleep more soundly not just next to me but in the crook of my arm or on my shoulder... and it doesn't seem like I will be getting any sleep any time soon.

Late last night (or early this morning) when I was awake and googling "10 month sleep", or was it "10 month growth spurt"? or "10 month feeding every 2 hours"? or something like that, I came across a great post on "Sleep is for the weak" - a blog for sleep deprived parents;

Now Loudboy is nearly one (where did the time go?) it’s a good time to reflect on his first year and the things I will definitely not be repeating if (IF) we have another baby.

1. Settling to sleep in his cot. Took weeks and many tearful nights (me and him) where I was trying for hours to get him to sleep from a sleepy/awake state in his cot. I had read the books. This was Important. What they don’t tell you is that as soon as you manage it they have a big developmental spurt/develop separation anxiety/restart teething and refuse to do it ever again. Save yourself the angst until they’re ready to do it by themselves. Oh, and it makes s** all difference to the number of wakings/settling themselves back to sleep/going back to sleep in the cot.

2. Consistent naptime/bedtime routines. Again, takes ages and then everything changes (see 1).

3. Getting the baby out of your bed and into the cot. See 1.

4. Worrying about breastfeeding. Loudboy fed well from the beginning. He just fed often: every 2 hours (or less during a growth spurt) for the first five months. He was gaining weight, was happy and settled, developing well, so of course I didn’t worry if he was getting enough/latching on well/feeding too often. Ha. Of course I did. Completely pointless. Feed the baby when he’s hungry, get used to feeding in public and ignore anyone who tells you babies only need to feed every 3 or 4 hours.

5. Worrying about weaning. You get to 6 months, offer a bit of pureed carrot and they refuse it! Disaster! They will starve! Er, no. Takes some babies longer to get interested in food, but they get there eventually. Loudboy now chomping his way through three meals a day and pinching everyone else’s food when he can get away with it.

6. But the books say… Endless arguments with my husband as I was wearily trying to get Loudboy to sleep/eat/nap ‘but The Books Say to do this’. Husband: ‘It’s a waste of time, it isn’t working, give up and do something else’. I hate to say it, but he was right. Dammit.

So there you have it. I am sure that someday I will really appreciate Aiden`s stubbornness and determination... someday when I have had some sleep maybe?


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